Lately I have been having a difficult time waking up. My alarm clock does a very nice job of getting me out of a coma, but since I know I have some cushion time. I normally wake up about 7-7:30sih range... I don't have to jump into the shower to get ready for work until 9ish. My goal is to go to the gym to get a brief workout. But I am a dreamer so the only workout in the morning is the reach for the alarm clock to hit the snooze button.
I cannot imagine life without the snooze button... I think it should be up there on the list for the world's greatest inventions. Ok, maybe not that extreme, in fact it should be on the opposite end of the spectrum as one of the greatest inventions leading to procastination! I admit, I did go to the gym in the morning once or twice this week, but the evening times have been more more my appealing to me.
Those multiple 8-mins of snoozing in a comfortable, warm, cozy bed doesn't seem to help... once I get up, what is the first thing I normally do? Go to the couch to check my email and the news. One thing leads to the next and before you know it, I don't have enough time to have a decent workout. Am I a procastinator at home? You betcha! (not that I am proud of it)
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Friday, January 06, 2006
Me, a movie star? umm...
Alrighty then it is Friday night and I just got back from a Volunteer Appreciation party. Glad to be back at my cozy apartment. Not a big fan of those type of functions... a lot of small talk with people you really done know and I was the youngest there... it is a small town and most know everyone else and I am just the new kid on the block. (I know what you are thinking... but NO! I will not sing Step-by-Step... Ooo-baby... or any of those other teeny bobbers songs!)
Cool, I just got this email from a small movie studio... they saw my picture on the web and wanted to tell me about feature film being produced in Delaware. That would be fun and different to do. The website says:
That sounds good... I will be able to take off a few days to do this. I read on...
Hmm... That would be interesting... Gooberman's dimpled tight-butt on the silver screen. Well, they got one thing right; it would be a horror movie if they got my butt on screen! Okay, I have not got any complaints about my butt. But (no pun intended...okay okay, pun very much intended), it would be fun to be in a movie.
I actually do have professional headshots and photos. I took some “classes” on how to be a commercial print model and tv/movie actor. Long story. The headshots were never given out and I was left with a big hole in my wallet.
I was in a movie before. That’s right! Gooberman was actually in the movie: Major League II. MLII was partially filmed at Camden Yards and I was there. So if you look very closely in the crowds at the end of the movie. Look into the stands. I am one of those dots..umm... errr... I mean... faces in the crowd. If you find me, let me know.
Another 15 seconds of fame, I was on stage with D.L. Hughley at the Miami Improv... months before he started his tv show "the hughleys". He called me up on stage thinking I was a stud. I got up there and had not clue what he was sayings. So I started to talk in Sign Language. I figured that would catch him off guard and shake things up a bit. He then questioned what a White guy like me was doing trying to listen to a black guy like him. He went on and on about that. I must say, that was humiliating for me to be up there… but I would not trade that moment for anything. After the show he came up to me and gave me a big manly hug. He was a nice guy.
Fine, you win… I was on another comedy stage before… at Comedy Sports in Northern Virginia; the comedians there invited me up on stage there too. It was fun it got some laughs, end of story. It is past my bedtime…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Cool, I just got this email from a small movie studio... they saw my picture on the web and wanted to tell me about feature film being produced in Delaware. That would be fun and different to do. The website says:
##### will be shot in the spring of 2006 in Lewis, Delaware and lower Delaware. These are non-paying roles, but do offer you the chance to be in a full length motion picture. We will consider all regardless of past experience. As with any film the hours are extremely long and thankless. Serious and dedicated only please!!!
That sounds good... I will be able to take off a few days to do this. I read on...
Actors will need to be able to learn large segments of dialogue. Actors will be required to do nudity as it is part of the story.
Hmm... That would be interesting... Gooberman's dimpled tight-butt on the silver screen. Well, they got one thing right; it would be a horror movie if they got my butt on screen! Okay, I have not got any complaints about my butt. But (no pun intended...okay okay, pun very much intended), it would be fun to be in a movie.
I actually do have professional headshots and photos. I took some “classes” on how to be a commercial print model and tv/movie actor. Long story. The headshots were never given out and I was left with a big hole in my wallet.
I was in a movie before. That’s right! Gooberman was actually in the movie: Major League II. MLII was partially filmed at Camden Yards and I was there. So if you look very closely in the crowds at the end of the movie. Look into the stands. I am one of those dots..umm... errr... I mean... faces in the crowd. If you find me, let me know.
Another 15 seconds of fame, I was on stage with D.L. Hughley at the Miami Improv... months before he started his tv show "the hughleys". He called me up on stage thinking I was a stud. I got up there and had not clue what he was sayings. So I started to talk in Sign Language. I figured that would catch him off guard and shake things up a bit. He then questioned what a White guy like me was doing trying to listen to a black guy like him. He went on and on about that. I must say, that was humiliating for me to be up there… but I would not trade that moment for anything. After the show he came up to me and gave me a big manly hug. He was a nice guy.
Fine, you win… I was on another comedy stage before… at Comedy Sports in Northern Virginia; the comedians there invited me up on stage there too. It was fun it got some laughs, end of story. It is past my bedtime…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Thinking outside the box...
Today was busy, my Secretary was still feeling a lil under the weather. So the phones naturally were naturally ringing off the hook. It was productive through... approved a lot of requests that needed to be done for the registrations.
My coordinator and I had a very thoughtful and meaningful discussion. We searched the depths of our souls to think outside the box to come up with possible solutions. Just like in Patch Adams (a great movie with Robin Williams) we had to focus on the solution not the problem. Because after all, 1+1=3... the product is greater than the sum of all its parts. The solution we were looking for... what color to paint the room we will convert to a meeting room. At first I was thinking bright orange... but he would get lost in the room since he (and I sometimes) wears that color. He came up with plaid... but I figured it would be hard to paint... and the crew who will paint it will most likely be a bit sloppy (think about the filling in a 1 inch circle with a 12 inch paint brush sloppy). What about the flicking the paint off a brush to make it artistic. Nah. What about using a scratch and sniff paint...naa, too many people will be fixated on the room and sniffing the paint (that would ultimately look bad for us).
What about that edible body paint? I loved that idea... my staff would never need to go to the MickeyD's for a break, they just go to the offices and eat a piece of the wall. Then the most brilliant idea came out of my coordinator's mouth... sheer intellegence.... velcro the wall and get body suits that will stick you to the wall. Why is this absolute genius? Because it is a small room that may be able to fit 20... using the walls, we would be able to maxmize the space using the walls and have maybe allow 50 people in the meeting. With the use of the walls, the ceiling is now an option... how about we can put astonaut ice cream on the ceiling for refreshments, we already would have beverages using the sprinkler system's water. Now, that is thinking outside the box.
Then reality kicked in... the walls to the room had to be padded... and a coat rack is needed for our straight jackets.
... we never did decide on a color of the room. But as I told him... you gotta have fun when you are working.
My coordinator and I had a very thoughtful and meaningful discussion. We searched the depths of our souls to think outside the box to come up with possible solutions. Just like in Patch Adams (a great movie with Robin Williams) we had to focus on the solution not the problem. Because after all, 1+1=3... the product is greater than the sum of all its parts. The solution we were looking for... what color to paint the room we will convert to a meeting room. At first I was thinking bright orange... but he would get lost in the room since he (and I sometimes) wears that color. He came up with plaid... but I figured it would be hard to paint... and the crew who will paint it will most likely be a bit sloppy (think about the filling in a 1 inch circle with a 12 inch paint brush sloppy). What about the flicking the paint off a brush to make it artistic. Nah. What about using a scratch and sniff paint...naa, too many people will be fixated on the room and sniffing the paint (that would ultimately look bad for us).
What about that edible body paint? I loved that idea... my staff would never need to go to the MickeyD's for a break, they just go to the offices and eat a piece of the wall. Then the most brilliant idea came out of my coordinator's mouth... sheer intellegence.... velcro the wall and get body suits that will stick you to the wall. Why is this absolute genius? Because it is a small room that may be able to fit 20... using the walls, we would be able to maxmize the space using the walls and have maybe allow 50 people in the meeting. With the use of the walls, the ceiling is now an option... how about we can put astonaut ice cream on the ceiling for refreshments, we already would have beverages using the sprinkler system's water. Now, that is thinking outside the box.
Then reality kicked in... the walls to the room had to be padded... and a coat rack is needed for our straight jackets.
... we never did decide on a color of the room. But as I told him... you gotta have fun when you are working.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Good Grief!
My secretary was sick today... so according to the laws of nature. To be exact, it is: Article III Section B Subsection 3: "When thee who answers the telephones is out, thee invention of Graham Bell MUST be constantly ringing off the hook and relentless business must ensue."
So the laws of nature held true, it was a busy day in the office and the phone became a permanent fixture on my ear. Oh I sure do hope my Office Assistant gets well soon. Not only so she can handle the phones, but to keep the fun times rolling.
The past few days I have become fixated on a new toy I got for Christmas... it didn't occur to me the power of its entertainment until a couple days ago. I am not talking about that voice-controlled robot dog that will squeeze fresh orange juice at the same time it dusts the vents on the ceiling nor am I talking about the Mr. T Chia-pet. I am talking about the candle warmer. I mean, Whoa! I have all these deformed candles without wicks. I pop it on the candle warmer and boom, the wax is melted and the apartment smells good. But, that is not all, when you have more than one candle that needs to be warmed, you have instant-layered candles! I think I have the most unique candle ever "warming" on the hot plate... I think it is a mix of Ocean Breeze together with Vanilla cookies. What can be more relaxing than that? Basking in the sun with the ocean breeze as the smell of fresh baked cookies is in the air! Life does not get better than that...until you wake up to the sound of the phone ringing off the hook!
Well, my new jacket came today.... I love it!
So the laws of nature held true, it was a busy day in the office and the phone became a permanent fixture on my ear. Oh I sure do hope my Office Assistant gets well soon. Not only so she can handle the phones, but to keep the fun times rolling.
The past few days I have become fixated on a new toy I got for Christmas... it didn't occur to me the power of its entertainment until a couple days ago. I am not talking about that voice-controlled robot dog that will squeeze fresh orange juice at the same time it dusts the vents on the ceiling nor am I talking about the Mr. T Chia-pet. I am talking about the candle warmer. I mean, Whoa! I have all these deformed candles without wicks. I pop it on the candle warmer and boom, the wax is melted and the apartment smells good. But, that is not all, when you have more than one candle that needs to be warmed, you have instant-layered candles! I think I have the most unique candle ever "warming" on the hot plate... I think it is a mix of Ocean Breeze together with Vanilla cookies. What can be more relaxing than that? Basking in the sun with the ocean breeze as the smell of fresh baked cookies is in the air! Life does not get better than that...until you wake up to the sound of the phone ringing off the hook!
Well, my new jacket came today.... I love it!
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Quick, Call 911!
I needs someone to call, because I CHOKED at bowling tonight! Okay, the first game went well... the pins just did not feel like standing up. I ended up with a 230. The second game, the lanes became more dry. The ball just had a mind of its own and just sailed off into the sunset... which is not at all good because the sun was setting in CHINA! Ugh... the second game ended up with 190. The third game not too shabby... if you wanted to lose that game! Which we did. It all came down to the tenth frame and I am the last bowler, if I striked twice and knocked down some other pins, we would have won. Pressure is normally something I can handle in bowling and I normally excel in the tenth, but tonight was not that night. But my team won three out of the four, so that is a good thing. Another silly thing that happened, my zipper broke on my jacket. Still usable, but hard to grip. I have never heard of a zipper breaking where you grip it, they always tend to come apart at the teeth... golly gee whiz. I have had that ski jacket for ages... in fact I probably was born in that jacket. What can I say? Well, I have a new leather jacket on its way... I am excited about that.
The choking and broken zipper was just a part of the day. At work, when one thing doesn't go right, obviously other things HAVE to happen too. I think I read it in an encyclopedia somewhere... it is a scientific fact. Can anyone prove me otherwise? I thought not! You see, I noticed a mistake on a flyer that went out to 6000 people... a registration date wrong, so the date that was wrong will HAVE to be a very rainy day when people show up to sign up their child and NOBODY is there to take their registration (you know that is what is going to happen, it is the law of nature!)... but on the positive note, it said Tuesday and Wednesday (which is right) but the dates were wrong... AND calendar of events, it was listed correctly. Also, There was a email that I totally forgot about... it had dates for a different registration that needed to be on that newsletter... UGH. The programs insisted that I had those dates, but I could not recall getting it... after all it was buried in the email with some other items, that I do recall. Well that is easily correctable, but being the perfectionist I am, I know I am going to have to go boot shopping more often because I am losing them up my butt each time I kick myself.
The choking and broken zipper was just a part of the day. At work, when one thing doesn't go right, obviously other things HAVE to happen too. I think I read it in an encyclopedia somewhere... it is a scientific fact. Can anyone prove me otherwise? I thought not! You see, I noticed a mistake on a flyer that went out to 6000 people... a registration date wrong, so the date that was wrong will HAVE to be a very rainy day when people show up to sign up their child and NOBODY is there to take their registration (you know that is what is going to happen, it is the law of nature!)... but on the positive note, it said Tuesday and Wednesday (which is right) but the dates were wrong... AND calendar of events, it was listed correctly. Also, There was a email that I totally forgot about... it had dates for a different registration that needed to be on that newsletter... UGH. The programs insisted that I had those dates, but I could not recall getting it... after all it was buried in the email with some other items, that I do recall. Well that is easily correctable, but being the perfectionist I am, I know I am going to have to go boot shopping more often because I am losing them up my butt each time I kick myself.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Rainy day off
Today was not bad. I woke up made a very good smoothie... the first one I made in a long time, the best one I ever improvised. I need to eat breakfast more often. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day; yet I so often neglect to nourish myself... sometimes I would even skip lunch (or munch on the Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies in the office cabinet... yum yum), then pick up a sandwich for dinner. Not the most healthy of habits lately.
Today was my bill paying day... how much fun it is to write checks to large businesses that take pride in making people poor. I feel so good about helping them... everything from outrageous rent to ridulous add-ons for the phone to the state require car insurance. I really should do my bills a week earlier or even before that, but I never do. I always cut it close to the deadlines.
I was planning on rewarding myself by seeing the 1:10 showing of King Kong... I got there only to be reminded, it is a holiday and it is raining outside... everyone in the world will be there. The line extended outside in the rain. I opt not to see the movie today then went to drop off my bills in a mailbox and rent check. Afterwards went home to watch tv and explore the internet. Exciting. But the fun doesn't end there... I went to the apartment complex's gym.
It was the first time back to the gym in about 2 weeks. Spent 12 mins on the elliptical and 30 mins on the treadmill. I felt winded on the elliptical; perhaps it is the extra weight I gained. I am now at 190 pounds... the most I have ever been. I am normally at 170-175. My major in college was in exercise sciences, so I know what needs to be done to get back down.
That is what is happening in my life.
Today was my bill paying day... how much fun it is to write checks to large businesses that take pride in making people poor. I feel so good about helping them... everything from outrageous rent to ridulous add-ons for the phone to the state require car insurance. I really should do my bills a week earlier or even before that, but I never do. I always cut it close to the deadlines.
I was planning on rewarding myself by seeing the 1:10 showing of King Kong... I got there only to be reminded, it is a holiday and it is raining outside... everyone in the world will be there. The line extended outside in the rain. I opt not to see the movie today then went to drop off my bills in a mailbox and rent check. Afterwards went home to watch tv and explore the internet. Exciting. But the fun doesn't end there... I went to the apartment complex's gym.
It was the first time back to the gym in about 2 weeks. Spent 12 mins on the elliptical and 30 mins on the treadmill. I felt winded on the elliptical; perhaps it is the extra weight I gained. I am now at 190 pounds... the most I have ever been. I am normally at 170-175. My major in college was in exercise sciences, so I know what needs to be done to get back down.
That is what is happening in my life.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Just one of those days
Today was not one of my better days. I got up late, not in a very good mood. It all goes back to my un-understandable mind. I should be more upbeat, yet I feel so lonely and isolated. Pretty much all day I was unmotivated to do anything, feeling sorry for myself and wishing I were with some friends or a significant other. I felt like I would never find anyone else because I was destined to be single and alone. Gawd, I wish I were a female... I don't think I would have the same problems... even though this is 2006, this society still dictates guys have to make the first move, ask the girls out on dates. If it were the other way around, I am sure I would be having a lot healthier social life. I guess I will always be a hopeless romantic.
Throughout the day I wanted to go to Hops to grab a beer and something to eat as I watch the last week of regular season football. I don't always want to watch football, but today I was interested. I was going to go see the second half of the Ravens game, but never made it. Nor did the Ravens survive... the game got very ugly in the second half. They were laid to rest...maybe next season. The Redskins game came on next, more interesting game because it was a win or season is over game. The first half I watched, still in the shorts I wore overnight. Halftime came and went... finally I got my butt in gear and took a shower. I must admit, I love taking long showers. Because I don't pay for water at my apartment, I don't mind taking those long showers. I would just sit down as the water beats down on head and back. Just watching the water drop trickle off me and down the drain. I would wish I wouldn't have to get out... just stay there in the soothing shower. But all good things must come to an end.
I got dress and went to Hops to watch the last of the Redskins game. I was glad I went, got a good burger, beer and cheesecake. There was a funny older sitting across the bar from me... unfortunately I had no idea what they were saying but they reminded me of "The Jeffersons"... Where George would always be toying with his wife and mocking her behind her back.
Afterwards, I went to Giant to pickup a few groceries then went home to watch a movie; Hotel Rwanda... spectacular movie. It really shined light on an issue vastly ignored, as portrayed in the movie. I can relate to bits and pieces of it. Niger was not a genicide-affected country, but there was a lot of bribery and a lot of special treatment because we were white, let alone Americans. Niger is also very widely overlooked as a country. There is very little foreign interest in that country because there are no resources and reasons for people to invest... the temperature is extremely hot with high humidity, making it undesirable for living... there are no large animal sanctuaries for tourist to visit like in Kenya, Tanzania and South Africa... the government is corrupt and bribery is rampant scaring off a lot of interest. The only commodity of great interest is the people with huge hearts. It is a shame such terrible plights such of famine is overlooked because of the lack of resources the country can contribute to another.
Throughout the day I wanted to go to Hops to grab a beer and something to eat as I watch the last week of regular season football. I don't always want to watch football, but today I was interested. I was going to go see the second half of the Ravens game, but never made it. Nor did the Ravens survive... the game got very ugly in the second half. They were laid to rest...maybe next season. The Redskins game came on next, more interesting game because it was a win or season is over game. The first half I watched, still in the shorts I wore overnight. Halftime came and went... finally I got my butt in gear and took a shower. I must admit, I love taking long showers. Because I don't pay for water at my apartment, I don't mind taking those long showers. I would just sit down as the water beats down on head and back. Just watching the water drop trickle off me and down the drain. I would wish I wouldn't have to get out... just stay there in the soothing shower. But all good things must come to an end.
I got dress and went to Hops to watch the last of the Redskins game. I was glad I went, got a good burger, beer and cheesecake. There was a funny older sitting across the bar from me... unfortunately I had no idea what they were saying but they reminded me of "The Jeffersons"... Where George would always be toying with his wife and mocking her behind her back.
Afterwards, I went to Giant to pickup a few groceries then went home to watch a movie; Hotel Rwanda... spectacular movie. It really shined light on an issue vastly ignored, as portrayed in the movie. I can relate to bits and pieces of it. Niger was not a genicide-affected country, but there was a lot of bribery and a lot of special treatment because we were white, let alone Americans. Niger is also very widely overlooked as a country. There is very little foreign interest in that country because there are no resources and reasons for people to invest... the temperature is extremely hot with high humidity, making it undesirable for living... there are no large animal sanctuaries for tourist to visit like in Kenya, Tanzania and South Africa... the government is corrupt and bribery is rampant scaring off a lot of interest. The only commodity of great interest is the people with huge hearts. It is a shame such terrible plights such of famine is overlooked because of the lack of resources the country can contribute to another.
Happy New Year
Well, it is now 2005...umm I mean 2006... let's see how long it takes for me to kick the habit of writing "'05". I am thinking 2 maybe 3 weeks.
Celebrated the New Year at a friend of my sister's house... I also have got to know him a little over the years. Been to his large parties over the years, whether it was July 4th or New Years or just for the heck of it. He has an amazing townhouse in between Canton and Fells Point, which has a deck on the roof. A great view of the city and the fireworks over the Inner Harbor. I went with three of my neighbors... all three I have been playing card game with and even went to Kings Dominion. Two of them are old enough to be my parents which makes us an odd group of friends, but that is ok. Because of this I was worrying about how they felt at the party... they we definitely the oldest there, even though there were 30-40 people there. I was also not so talkative there... perhaps I was tired... perhaps I was just nervous about how my neighbors would feel there... perhaps I am just not a social person at large functions. There was a girl there who was the same age as I was... she seems nice enough, I think she was interested in me, but I had a hard time talking to her... but then again I had a hard time talking to everyone else, so I did pursue her.
I did not like who I was when I was there... I was shy, I was dry, and I was stiff. When that happens, it is not a good time for me, despite the neighborly friends as company. When I went to Kings Dominion with them, I had the time of my life. I felt comfortable, talkative, humorous.... it all just fit together all day. It was a great time.
So what was the difference between Kings Dominion and New Years? That is what I need to figure out... if I can get to feeling like I was at Kings Dominion, as confident as I was, then life would be good and my social life would be better. So my New Years Resolution... or for better terms, my goal is to be more social and get myself out more often to meet people. My goal is to go out on more dates, perhaps making me feel more comfortable socially. I have a good job that gives me financial independence and stability, established my work reputation as a successful hardworking individual. But there is nothing in the romantic department, one of the last pieces of the whole puzzle. Perhaps, that is the key to my happiness... just needs to find that significant other. Right now, as sad as it sounds, I am on my bed with my love... my precious cat. If it weren't for my cat, I don't know what I would do. I guess I just want to care for someone else, just as I care for my cat.
2006 has rung in, time to orchestrate my next symphony in life.
Celebrated the New Year at a friend of my sister's house... I also have got to know him a little over the years. Been to his large parties over the years, whether it was July 4th or New Years or just for the heck of it. He has an amazing townhouse in between Canton and Fells Point, which has a deck on the roof. A great view of the city and the fireworks over the Inner Harbor. I went with three of my neighbors... all three I have been playing card game with and even went to Kings Dominion. Two of them are old enough to be my parents which makes us an odd group of friends, but that is ok. Because of this I was worrying about how they felt at the party... they we definitely the oldest there, even though there were 30-40 people there. I was also not so talkative there... perhaps I was tired... perhaps I was just nervous about how my neighbors would feel there... perhaps I am just not a social person at large functions. There was a girl there who was the same age as I was... she seems nice enough, I think she was interested in me, but I had a hard time talking to her... but then again I had a hard time talking to everyone else, so I did pursue her.
I did not like who I was when I was there... I was shy, I was dry, and I was stiff. When that happens, it is not a good time for me, despite the neighborly friends as company. When I went to Kings Dominion with them, I had the time of my life. I felt comfortable, talkative, humorous.... it all just fit together all day. It was a great time.
So what was the difference between Kings Dominion and New Years? That is what I need to figure out... if I can get to feeling like I was at Kings Dominion, as confident as I was, then life would be good and my social life would be better. So my New Years Resolution... or for better terms, my goal is to be more social and get myself out more often to meet people. My goal is to go out on more dates, perhaps making me feel more comfortable socially. I have a good job that gives me financial independence and stability, established my work reputation as a successful hardworking individual. But there is nothing in the romantic department, one of the last pieces of the whole puzzle. Perhaps, that is the key to my happiness... just needs to find that significant other. Right now, as sad as it sounds, I am on my bed with my love... my precious cat. If it weren't for my cat, I don't know what I would do. I guess I just want to care for someone else, just as I care for my cat.
2006 has rung in, time to orchestrate my next symphony in life.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Gooberman lives!
Today was a fun day at work... my office assistant and my coordinator and I were just goofing off all day. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time, I must admit I laughed so hard I cried. With some of the really "stretching it" word play jokes and the almost insane conversations, I admit was a goober. Goober sounds like some sort of candy... sweet on the outside, nuts on the inside. We ordered Chinese for lunch with my boss and her OA... I had some more sushi, 4th time in the past 3 weeks... the only problem with sushi, it comes cut in either 6 or 8, and that is not always enough to eat. In the world of supersized meals (which I know is a huge contributor to the expanding waistline in this country), why can't sushi be supersized as well? At least it would be better the greasy fast foods. But it was delicious to eat. I am still looking for some sweet tasting sushi similar to what I had when I was on the island. My parents had some and said it was planton not banana as I originally thought. If anyone knows of where to get some, it would be a terrible thing to keep it a secret.
After lunch got to filling out my mileage report. I have slacked off so much with that report... it is for me to get more compensation yet that was not an incentive enough for me to turn one in since August. I tend to put it low on my priority list since I consistently take care of others (my employers, employees and others) before I think of myself. Not always the best way of thinking, but that's me. I finished my November and December reports ($145) thinking I would just do away with the Sept and Oct... but then was reminded my boss that in Sept and Oct, there were a lot of meetings outside my area which could accumulate even more extra gas money. At 48.5 cents a mile and driving to meetings 20 miles away can really add up. It is not that I really need the money, but extra money can never hurt. I didn't finish the report, so that is on top of my list for Tuesday (Monday is another holiday! woo-hoo!)
I went to blockbuster to use up my free rental, got home, watched some tv, took a nap. Glad to be able to coast into the weekend on a high note with no need to wake up early in the morning.
After lunch got to filling out my mileage report. I have slacked off so much with that report... it is for me to get more compensation yet that was not an incentive enough for me to turn one in since August. I tend to put it low on my priority list since I consistently take care of others (my employers, employees and others) before I think of myself. Not always the best way of thinking, but that's me. I finished my November and December reports ($145) thinking I would just do away with the Sept and Oct... but then was reminded my boss that in Sept and Oct, there were a lot of meetings outside my area which could accumulate even more extra gas money. At 48.5 cents a mile and driving to meetings 20 miles away can really add up. It is not that I really need the money, but extra money can never hurt. I didn't finish the report, so that is on top of my list for Tuesday (Monday is another holiday! woo-hoo!)
I went to blockbuster to use up my free rental, got home, watched some tv, took a nap. Glad to be able to coast into the weekend on a high note with no need to wake up early in the morning.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Productive Day
First day back from the holidays... I was so very tired today. I just wanted to go home and take a nap. Stayed up too late last night as I watched the movie (which I was tired before the movie even started). I was tempted to use one of my vacation days for Friday. However, I worked 4 more hours today than I was planning, so I will work less tomorrow. One of the perks of having a flexible schedule.
I spent a lot of time preparing for today's meeting I called for with my employees. I was not looking forward to it; it had potential to be such a big mess. The purpose of the meeting was to re-iterate their duties to get them back on the right track because council and the schools have been sharing with me those concerns. There are about 20 people on my staff including a coordinator who I am training to take more responsibility, a lot of different ages (but mostly teens still in high school), so the crowd is diverse. I understand it is just a part-time job for them and it may not be something they do for very long-time. I understand that it is not an easy job for a young kid to be telling people 2 or 3 times their age to follow the rules, but I believe that if play the cards the right way as a supervisor, any job can be fun or at least a good experience for them. I want to be able to help them become productive members in the workforce (whether for me or anyone else). As corny as it all may sound, one of the roles as a supervisor (I believe) is to educate them. The same holds true for any type of meeting, training or presentation. I am not at that point right now with my staff loving their job, nor am I at that point where I am the most effective superviosr but I feel I have made some really boring presentation subjects a lot of fun in the course of my public speaking “career”.
I spent a lot of time today talking with my new, young coordinator. I shared my philosophies and what I have been taught about trainings as well as got a glimpse to where he was coming from. With him being new (started Oct 31) in a position designed to be a stepping stone for organization, it was positive conversation. He also shared with me what my staff has been saying about me behind my back.
Unfortunately, whay he said made me feel like the supervisor from “The Office” (okay, I admit it! I have related to "Micheal Scott" from the Office before my conversation). He said they think it is annoying that I just pop-up when they least expect it and that I would be too hands on with the job. But that’s okay, I need to be available and check in on my staff. I practice what I preach and will enforce the rules that I expect them to be paid for, if they don't know when I am going to be dropping by, then hopefully it would keep them on their toes. I cannot be effective if I am not around and being passive. If everyone was being pro-active and taking the initiative, then there be a need for this meeting.
The meeting went well, better than I anticipated. The staff was receptive and they shared ideas and participated. It felt like it accomplished the objective. There was no finger-pointing or blaming. There are things that I could have said better and other things that I would do differently next time, but I felt good about the meeting. I tend to talk like Bush sometimes, words come out in not-so-ordinary ways just to get the point across, (Bushism- I think it is called). I was relieved that it is over and I felt more satisfied with this meeting than some of those in the past.
Now I am looking forward to a quiet, calm Friday and then a weekend featuring a big party at a friend’s townhouse over looking the Inner Harbor in Baltimore City.
I spent a lot of time preparing for today's meeting I called for with my employees. I was not looking forward to it; it had potential to be such a big mess. The purpose of the meeting was to re-iterate their duties to get them back on the right track because council and the schools have been sharing with me those concerns. There are about 20 people on my staff including a coordinator who I am training to take more responsibility, a lot of different ages (but mostly teens still in high school), so the crowd is diverse. I understand it is just a part-time job for them and it may not be something they do for very long-time. I understand that it is not an easy job for a young kid to be telling people 2 or 3 times their age to follow the rules, but I believe that if play the cards the right way as a supervisor, any job can be fun or at least a good experience for them. I want to be able to help them become productive members in the workforce (whether for me or anyone else). As corny as it all may sound, one of the roles as a supervisor (I believe) is to educate them. The same holds true for any type of meeting, training or presentation. I am not at that point right now with my staff loving their job, nor am I at that point where I am the most effective superviosr but I feel I have made some really boring presentation subjects a lot of fun in the course of my public speaking “career”.
I spent a lot of time today talking with my new, young coordinator. I shared my philosophies and what I have been taught about trainings as well as got a glimpse to where he was coming from. With him being new (started Oct 31) in a position designed to be a stepping stone for organization, it was positive conversation. He also shared with me what my staff has been saying about me behind my back.
Unfortunately, whay he said made me feel like the supervisor from “The Office” (okay, I admit it! I have related to "Micheal Scott" from the Office before my conversation). He said they think it is annoying that I just pop-up when they least expect it and that I would be too hands on with the job. But that’s okay, I need to be available and check in on my staff. I practice what I preach and will enforce the rules that I expect them to be paid for, if they don't know when I am going to be dropping by, then hopefully it would keep them on their toes. I cannot be effective if I am not around and being passive. If everyone was being pro-active and taking the initiative, then there be a need for this meeting.
The meeting went well, better than I anticipated. The staff was receptive and they shared ideas and participated. It felt like it accomplished the objective. There was no finger-pointing or blaming. There are things that I could have said better and other things that I would do differently next time, but I felt good about the meeting. I tend to talk like Bush sometimes, words come out in not-so-ordinary ways just to get the point across, (Bushism- I think it is called). I was relieved that it is over and I felt more satisfied with this meeting than some of those in the past.
Now I am looking forward to a quiet, calm Friday and then a weekend featuring a big party at a friend’s townhouse over looking the Inner Harbor in Baltimore City.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Vision Quest
Well, my folks are back in town and I am back to my apartment. I surprised them by cleaning their cars, vacuuming/ dusting part of their house, made them a dinner (first time I really cooked for them, complete with salad), make a fire in the fireplace, and watched Polar Express with them after we exchanged gifts. My main gift is on its way back from internet store… exchanging the leather jacket for another style I like more. I was pleasantly surprised to get a large vintage bullfighting poster… it was even personalized in Spanish as if I were the famous bullfighter. Even though I have never been to a bullfight nor been to Spain, it would fit well with my bedroom motif. Vintage Red Cross poster (I make it a habit to give blood), vintage Ringling Bros and Barnum Bailey Circus poster (Grew up going to the circus when it is in town), a University of Maryland poster and the diploma (the poster they gave to the graduates instead of the diplomas they mailed to the house), and the National Club Volleyball Tournament poster (I worked and helped out with the tournament when I was at UMCP.) My room pays tribute to a few things I have done and/or enjoy. My living room/ dining room had an African Motif. Complete with memories of my trip there. A Christmas gift added to the collection… a wall hanging made from a 50-gallon drum barrel. It is a very nicely crafted piece of art made in Haiti, but sold in Dominican Republic, where I recently vacationed. It works nicely with the décor and is very much appreciated.
After the evening festivities, my cat and I headed back to my apartment, I put away my laundry then watched the movie, “Vision Quest”… a story about a guy inspired to make his mark on the world by dropping several weight classes in wrestling to face an undefeated, feared state champion. Good movie, but not great. Worth seeing.
Time to go to sleep, got a busy first day back at work tomorrow.
After the evening festivities, my cat and I headed back to my apartment, I put away my laundry then watched the movie, “Vision Quest”… a story about a guy inspired to make his mark on the world by dropping several weight classes in wrestling to face an undefeated, feared state champion. Good movie, but not great. Worth seeing.
Time to go to sleep, got a busy first day back at work tomorrow.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Smothered in Puppies
Tonight is the last night before my parents come home. The last night for me to house/dog/cat sit.
The two dogs are a joy to be around and they have totally different personalities. The older dog is mellow, loyal and affectionate. The younger dog..umm.. she is very playful, goofy, lovable, (did I mention goofy?) and quite a character. Gotta love them both. The two of them get jealous of one another, so at times I would get all smothered in the affection. They would compete with one another for the prime location for a decent backrub... not realizing they may suffocate me in the process. Real bright of them, snuffing the one who would take them to paradise with a grand petting, just to outdo the other.
Meanwhile, my cat was in his hyper mood... he was jumping from one sofa to the next like he is spiderman. He would run around at full speed without a worry in the world. Being as agile as he is, he never crashes into anything, just glides from one area to the next. Gotta love him for his antics.
I bowled inconsistently tonight. We won 1 of 4 versus the 1st place team. Our opponents had a former Baltimore Oriole on their team. Paul Blair, who played from 1964-1980 in the outfield. He is a nice guy, very upbeat and happy. Not a bad bowler, either. We actually matched series-wise at 590. The first game I was sticking on the approach and got a measly 167. The second game went extremely well on the right lane when I got all strikes, but the left lane was trouble for me... ended up with 210. Third game went well, ended up with a 213. My average should be at 197.
After bowling, I went to the store picked up a few things for tomorrow... planning on making a dinner for my parents, my own recipe: Teriyaki pineapple Chicken over brown rice and Spinach Salad with Goat Cheese and Huckleberry dressing. I also got Sushi for dinner tonight... it was not as fresh as I would prefer.
The two dogs are a joy to be around and they have totally different personalities. The older dog is mellow, loyal and affectionate. The younger dog..umm.. she is very playful, goofy, lovable, (did I mention goofy?) and quite a character. Gotta love them both. The two of them get jealous of one another, so at times I would get all smothered in the affection. They would compete with one another for the prime location for a decent backrub... not realizing they may suffocate me in the process. Real bright of them, snuffing the one who would take them to paradise with a grand petting, just to outdo the other.
Meanwhile, my cat was in his hyper mood... he was jumping from one sofa to the next like he is spiderman. He would run around at full speed without a worry in the world. Being as agile as he is, he never crashes into anything, just glides from one area to the next. Gotta love him for his antics.
I bowled inconsistently tonight. We won 1 of 4 versus the 1st place team. Our opponents had a former Baltimore Oriole on their team. Paul Blair, who played from 1964-1980 in the outfield. He is a nice guy, very upbeat and happy. Not a bad bowler, either. We actually matched series-wise at 590. The first game I was sticking on the approach and got a measly 167. The second game went extremely well on the right lane when I got all strikes, but the left lane was trouble for me... ended up with 210. Third game went well, ended up with a 213. My average should be at 197.
After bowling, I went to the store picked up a few things for tomorrow... planning on making a dinner for my parents, my own recipe: Teriyaki pineapple Chicken over brown rice and Spinach Salad with Goat Cheese and Huckleberry dressing. I also got Sushi for dinner tonight... it was not as fresh as I would prefer.
Monday, December 26, 2005
uhh... Hello, my name is gooberman, and I am a bloggeroholic
I guess am enjoying the blogs more than I thought I would... or maybe I just have the time on my hands to think and reflect.
When I was out earlier, shopping for more gifts for my parents. There were some good sales the day after Christmas. My thoughts were flowing as I was driving about. I was thinking about why I chose "un-understandable mind"... what is my case to defend my logic. Here are a few things:
When I was out earlier, shopping for more gifts for my parents. There were some good sales the day after Christmas. My thoughts were flowing as I was driving about. I was thinking about why I chose "un-understandable mind"... what is my case to defend my logic. Here are a few things:
- I have a fear of rejection, yet I do not have a lot to show for being rejected... most of the time I am the rejector in a relationship not the one who is dumped or denied a date.
- Public speaking in front of large crowds is something I do well at, yet speaking in smaller groups can be tricky for me. [Gave successful presentations at national conferences and in front of important people.]
- People think I am a neat, attractive, wonderful guy, yet I have very few close friends.
- I am a very hard worker, I take initiative and I am very gung-ho when working, yet when I get home I tend to be a "bump on the log" and the world's greatest procastinator.
- I am very hard on myself and have high expectations for myself, yet I am very laid back and easy going with others.
- I love movies, music and auditory-oriented entertainment (comedy clubs, musicals/plays, etc.), yet most of the time I don't understand what is being said... unless it is it captioned.
- I know how to cook, yet I mostly get something I can pop into the microwave if I eat out...mainly to get fast food.
- I work a full-time salaried job that is 35 hours a week, yet I am too busy for much else. [35 hours is spread out throughout the day/ night and week]
- I am left handed with most fine motor skills (writing, eating, combing hair, etc), yet I use the mouse right handed, I throw, bowl, and other gross motor skill with my right hand.
- I was elected secretary of a search and rescue group when in college, yet I have a difficult time hearing well enough to take decent notes.
- I don't like tomatoes too much (but will still eat them), yet I really like tomato sauce, ketchup and other tomato based things.
- I like college basketball (especially University of Maryland) but I don't like the NBA.
- I have never understood the fascination people have with NASCAR, yet is is enjoyed by millions of people (and I like to drive fast myself).
- I can be clever and funny sometimes but other times (like now) I can't think of diddly-squat!
Well, I got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow. My goal is to clean my parent's house and their cars to surprise them when they return on Wednesday. I also need to wrap their gifts. Since it is Tuesday, it is my Bowling night... last week was a good week for my team, we won all three and finally came together as a team... having fun at the same time. Off hand I cannot remember my exact scores, but I think they were 215, 195, 224, it is well enough to raise my average from 196 to ??? Time to sign off to get my sleep.
Inspiring Fellow Bloggers
The past week I have a become addicted to blogs... not yet addicted to posting them, but reading them... been inspired about "eavesdropping" into another's life. I have always enjoyed watching people live their lives. Sitting on a bench as people pass. Seeing people's emotions on their faces and their body language telling me stories. Enjoying the therapeutic effect of knowing, "I am not alone". I am not the only one who has hiccups to overcome. There are three in particular that I have been spending hours reading... all three are interesting to read. All three have different contributions. All three are to be blamed when I become even more engrossed with reading other's blogs.
My "first" (sounds kinky, eh?) was "The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey." It hit the right note for me, talking about disabilities as an obstacle, not as a deal-breaker. Unlike Douglas, I do not have a "tic" nor do I have ADHD... but an hearing impairment.
My second was notable-m... an interesting individual who shared her day-to-day activities and thoughts. She showed me a glimpse in her life, not too far off from my own, in terms of habits and general life.
The third, Epiphany in Baltimore... a good hearted individual who has a compassion about life and optimism and faith in humanity, despite the minor challenges he has (living on a teachers salary and finding the time to really spread his wings in the social/romantic arenas of life).
Today, I particularly enjoyed Epiphany's "Faith Rocked". Despite the time he wrote it (the day after the unfortunate bombings in London, he continues to believe, "I believe that people are born good, and that it's the world that makes them bad." He goes on about how he has been a positive influence as teaches his students who are facing the grim reality of inner-city life. I responded to him with these comments and my personal experiences:
In my life, I have also worked for the Boys and Girls Club, a remarkable experience. It fed my need to want to help make a positive impact on this world, but unfortunately (as I have been told), I need to shine a light on my own path before I can carry the torch to show others the way. Left that job to take one for an offer I could not refuse. With more money to meet ends and the chance to start something anew in a new place, I had to take the chance to discover myself with new experiences. I don't regret my decision for I am at a good place with people who are fun to work with. But my experiences with the club will never be forgotten. The Boys and Girls Club of American has my admiration, even though they have their politics which every organization has.
I have always been a sucker for the feel good/ inspirational movies... movies where people change for the positive and people become a success story. Some movies I love: Coach Carter, Good Will Hunting, With Honors, Patch Adams, Dangerous Minds, Rudy, Lean on Me, etc. Even though they are just movies, I hope someday to become someone worthy of inspiration.
When working at the Boys and Girls Club, (which is under The Salvation Army in the Baltimore Region) work was stressful... both The Salvation Army and the Boys and Girls Club have two different missions so it seems there was a little conflict of interest at times, but both with very honorable and worthy intentions. I never could understood why the two powerhouse charities came together in the Baltimore Region. I think both would be more successful independent, fulfilling each of their missions to the greatest.
Unfortunately, there was so little help at the Club it made it hard make the greatest impact. Luckily, my supervisor there was very passionate about the cause and genuinely cared about the people who walked through those doors. She came across as a difficult person, but she truly cared and devote an enormous amount of time and energy to effort. Despite her efforts, she was at the same disadvantage, too little help with so many walking through the door. The ages varied so much you could not do effective programming and giving the attention to the boy and girls they deserved. Most of the youth there come to play basketball rather than anything else. We would have power hour (a hour of working on homework, prior to any other activities) and their mind would do nothing but wander. But how can you blame them, they were at school all day and the last thing they would want to do is look at more books with nobody to help them learn what they don't understand.
There was a time I discovered a young boy who could not read... he was getting by with the hints of others. I remember working with him to read a book... asking him to sound out the word, I would start a sound and he would think of the first word that comes to mind that has that sound. Smart, clever kid, but it would not help read the book for himself. He got easily frustrated as he lived in a tough neighborhood. Talked to his mother about his reading ability, and she was shocked, but was very supportive, although she has so little time to meet ends and give the attention he deserves. That is the story for most of the children in the club... little positive parental influence. Don't get me wrong, there have been some great parents there, but oftentimes, they are single parents who work hard to provide for their children and self. My heart goes out to them for that. But the children have less of a chance to get ahead without their positive support. If you want to make a difference, volunteer your time... keep an open mind, knowing those you work with are not walking in the shoes you wore but shoes too big or too small for your feet. Keep in mind the people you world with have different teachings growing up, some you may not agree with, some you would wish you have had. Some of those teachings may be different and unorthodox, but that does not mean they are bad. Keep an open mind and let the experience help you grow, just as you make a difference for them. A lot of times people are taught a way of thinking because they have to or because they have not been taught but learned by themselves, not knowing one way or another. It is something to consider the next time you come across another who doesn't share your perspective. Hearing people out and trying to figure out why someone does something is intriguing to me, it also helps make the best of a situation. So my take home message: Keep an open mind and open heart.
My "first" (sounds kinky, eh?) was "The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey." It hit the right note for me, talking about disabilities as an obstacle, not as a deal-breaker. Unlike Douglas, I do not have a "tic" nor do I have ADHD... but an hearing impairment.
My second was notable-m... an interesting individual who shared her day-to-day activities and thoughts. She showed me a glimpse in her life, not too far off from my own, in terms of habits and general life.
The third, Epiphany in Baltimore... a good hearted individual who has a compassion about life and optimism and faith in humanity, despite the minor challenges he has (living on a teachers salary and finding the time to really spread his wings in the social/romantic arenas of life).
Today, I particularly enjoyed Epiphany's "Faith Rocked". Despite the time he wrote it (the day after the unfortunate bombings in London, he continues to believe, "I believe that people are born good, and that it's the world that makes them bad." He goes on about how he has been a positive influence as teaches his students who are facing the grim reality of inner-city life. I responded to him with these comments and my personal experiences:
Remarkable and inspiring post... you are a good man, charlie brown, to belief. You are absolutely right about people turning a blind eye when they see the unfortunate in the third world countries. One of my most precious experiences in life was my visit to one of the poorest countries in the world, The Republic of Niger. I spent two weeks there and it simply restored my faith in humanity. Even though the village of Maraka had very little, their hearts were filled with gold. They were the village that raised a child together and with pride. They had no sense of national identity, just of their village.
One time they offered my family and I several cooked chickens (so small and so skinny) just as a token of friendship. Unfortunately, it is not something we could eat and cannot insult them by giving it back, especially if it was my sister's Peace Corp village.
For a village to give so much when they have so little, is an inspiration and is enough to restore your faith, even when there are people out there with a different line of thinking.
Thanks for the posting and being a genuine human being with great intentions... if only others would follow your example and good faith!
In my life, I have also worked for the Boys and Girls Club, a remarkable experience. It fed my need to want to help make a positive impact on this world, but unfortunately (as I have been told), I need to shine a light on my own path before I can carry the torch to show others the way. Left that job to take one for an offer I could not refuse. With more money to meet ends and the chance to start something anew in a new place, I had to take the chance to discover myself with new experiences. I don't regret my decision for I am at a good place with people who are fun to work with. But my experiences with the club will never be forgotten. The Boys and Girls Club of American has my admiration, even though they have their politics which every organization has.
I have always been a sucker for the feel good/ inspirational movies... movies where people change for the positive and people become a success story. Some movies I love: Coach Carter, Good Will Hunting, With Honors, Patch Adams, Dangerous Minds, Rudy, Lean on Me, etc. Even though they are just movies, I hope someday to become someone worthy of inspiration.
When working at the Boys and Girls Club, (which is under The Salvation Army in the Baltimore Region) work was stressful... both The Salvation Army and the Boys and Girls Club have two different missions so it seems there was a little conflict of interest at times, but both with very honorable and worthy intentions. I never could understood why the two powerhouse charities came together in the Baltimore Region. I think both would be more successful independent, fulfilling each of their missions to the greatest.
Unfortunately, there was so little help at the Club it made it hard make the greatest impact. Luckily, my supervisor there was very passionate about the cause and genuinely cared about the people who walked through those doors. She came across as a difficult person, but she truly cared and devote an enormous amount of time and energy to effort. Despite her efforts, she was at the same disadvantage, too little help with so many walking through the door. The ages varied so much you could not do effective programming and giving the attention to the boy and girls they deserved. Most of the youth there come to play basketball rather than anything else. We would have power hour (a hour of working on homework, prior to any other activities) and their mind would do nothing but wander. But how can you blame them, they were at school all day and the last thing they would want to do is look at more books with nobody to help them learn what they don't understand.
There was a time I discovered a young boy who could not read... he was getting by with the hints of others. I remember working with him to read a book... asking him to sound out the word, I would start a sound and he would think of the first word that comes to mind that has that sound. Smart, clever kid, but it would not help read the book for himself. He got easily frustrated as he lived in a tough neighborhood. Talked to his mother about his reading ability, and she was shocked, but was very supportive, although she has so little time to meet ends and give the attention he deserves. That is the story for most of the children in the club... little positive parental influence. Don't get me wrong, there have been some great parents there, but oftentimes, they are single parents who work hard to provide for their children and self. My heart goes out to them for that. But the children have less of a chance to get ahead without their positive support. If you want to make a difference, volunteer your time... keep an open mind, knowing those you work with are not walking in the shoes you wore but shoes too big or too small for your feet. Keep in mind the people you world with have different teachings growing up, some you may not agree with, some you would wish you have had. Some of those teachings may be different and unorthodox, but that does not mean they are bad. Keep an open mind and let the experience help you grow, just as you make a difference for them. A lot of times people are taught a way of thinking because they have to or because they have not been taught but learned by themselves, not knowing one way or another. It is something to consider the next time you come across another who doesn't share your perspective. Hearing people out and trying to figure out why someone does something is intriguing to me, it also helps make the best of a situation. So my take home message: Keep an open mind and open heart.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Christmas Past, onto the Future
Christmas day is nearly over... I just got back from a dinner at my sister's in-laws house. Despite my sis and her hubby being out of town, I went there to have a nice dinner... I was beginning to regret going at first, I was not in too much of a talkative mood that evening. I guess it was a combination of being tired (my dogs had an overwhelming desire to walk all over me in the morning to wake me up. I guess they needed to go out [or maybe it was their ruse to get fed earlier]) and/or not knowing what to say. But the as the evening went on, I began to open up a bit more... but still not where I would want to be. If I gave myself a score on how social I was I would put me at 55 out of 100. I anticipated I would be a bit more quiet than I would wish to be... just trying to figure out how I can get myself where I want to be... here is my thoughts.
The in-laws (even though they are not technically my in-laws) are very successful and highly respected people. They have political connections, they live in an amazing house and are well-liked. They are also fun and interesting people who do not come across as intimidating. The dad-in-law, is fun to listen to and has so many stories to share. Very giving people as well... they would always think of me when they don't use their season tickets to the Maryland Sporting events... they took me and my family to the Football Silent Auction and Gala a couple years ago, they donated generously to a fundraiser I was working on for the YMCA and the list goes on. Due to all of this, maybe I feel that I respect them so much that I am afraid to make a fool of myself and tend to tense up as opposed to loosen up to be comfortable. After all, you cannot make foolish comments if you are not saying anything. I guess that is part of my fear of rejection, I think too much (I know it is a terrible thing to do, but it is "easier said than done" to stop thinking too much); let alone joke around.
I very much like to make people laugh and to make good impression on people with meaningful insights, conversations and ideas. It makes me feel important (even though others may think I am important to them nevertheless). Saying that, if I can turn my over-thinking off and not worry about looking like the goober I am, I think I would be better off. But how do I do that?? My attempt to understand my on-understandable mind, is this: I was brought up caring about my image (just as I should care for others), brought up being well-mannered and doing the right things, not doing stupid things. My image is important to me... I want to be known as an intelligent, attractive, caring individual who makes a difference in other people's lives. My great obstacle, I have this notion that others see me as a "charity case" hearing impaired individual who cannot do things on my own. Because of this notion, I need to dispel any stereotypes people may have of a hearing impaired individual... remove that stigma that I cannot do things for myself and cannot be successful as someone who does not have the same limitations. Hence my urge to be a well-rounded person to try new things and be knowledgeable in so many bands of the spectrum. I know I worry too much. I know that my logic of thinking is not the best when it comes to my own self-image (hard on myself, but not on others). But how do I do it?
I can go on and on... I have a lot of different avenues to venture down, but I need to learn to take things one day at a time and make the most of everything. Hopefully, my blog will help me get an insight to understanding my mind. And to be at better peace with myself. But that would be another time...
Ravens have beat the Vikings... they are looking good now. Too bad it is too late to make it into the playoffs. If only they got their act together earlier in the season. At least the Redskins, have that options... I must admit, I am loyal to both the skins and the Ravens... what can I say, I tend to be a home town sports fan.
The in-laws (even though they are not technically my in-laws) are very successful and highly respected people. They have political connections, they live in an amazing house and are well-liked. They are also fun and interesting people who do not come across as intimidating. The dad-in-law, is fun to listen to and has so many stories to share. Very giving people as well... they would always think of me when they don't use their season tickets to the Maryland Sporting events... they took me and my family to the Football Silent Auction and Gala a couple years ago, they donated generously to a fundraiser I was working on for the YMCA and the list goes on. Due to all of this, maybe I feel that I respect them so much that I am afraid to make a fool of myself and tend to tense up as opposed to loosen up to be comfortable. After all, you cannot make foolish comments if you are not saying anything. I guess that is part of my fear of rejection, I think too much (I know it is a terrible thing to do, but it is "easier said than done" to stop thinking too much); let alone joke around.
I very much like to make people laugh and to make good impression on people with meaningful insights, conversations and ideas. It makes me feel important (even though others may think I am important to them nevertheless). Saying that, if I can turn my over-thinking off and not worry about looking like the goober I am, I think I would be better off. But how do I do that?? My attempt to understand my on-understandable mind, is this: I was brought up caring about my image (just as I should care for others), brought up being well-mannered and doing the right things, not doing stupid things. My image is important to me... I want to be known as an intelligent, attractive, caring individual who makes a difference in other people's lives. My great obstacle, I have this notion that others see me as a "charity case" hearing impaired individual who cannot do things on my own. Because of this notion, I need to dispel any stereotypes people may have of a hearing impaired individual... remove that stigma that I cannot do things for myself and cannot be successful as someone who does not have the same limitations. Hence my urge to be a well-rounded person to try new things and be knowledgeable in so many bands of the spectrum. I know I worry too much. I know that my logic of thinking is not the best when it comes to my own self-image (hard on myself, but not on others). But how do I do it?
I can go on and on... I have a lot of different avenues to venture down, but I need to learn to take things one day at a time and make the most of everything. Hopefully, my blog will help me get an insight to understanding my mind. And to be at better peace with myself. But that would be another time...
Ravens have beat the Vikings... they are looking good now. Too bad it is too late to make it into the playoffs. If only they got their act together earlier in the season. At least the Redskins, have that options... I must admit, I am loyal to both the skins and the Ravens... what can I say, I tend to be a home town sports fan.
Monday, December 19, 2005
The Rookie Blogger
This is my inaugural blog... the pressure to make it a masterpiece.
It is after midnight on Christmas day. I am sitting next to the fireplace with a fire burning out at my parent's abode, not a creature was stirring not even a mom or dad (or Santa)in the house...okay, you must count the two dogs and two cats. Surprisingly very content as I hold down the fort as I house/ critter-sit. My parents are out visiting my sis and her hubby in the Carribeans, where they work for the US State Department. I am alone here with the TV on, but I am remarkably upbeat. Normally, I expected to be a bit bummed out, especially since this is the first Christmas not celebrated with my immediate family. My parents asked if I wanted to go with them, but I chose not to because I already made my fun tour down there during the Thanksgiving holidays.
But my Christmas will not be without social affairs as I will be going to a Christmas dinner with my sister's inlaws. I am apprehensive about it, because I am not always the most social guy. I am sometimes at loss of words or have difficulty following conversations. My hearing does not cater to social functions, even with the new hi-tech hearing-aids. That is how it has been all my life... and most likely the rest of my life.
On Christmas eve, I did my normal last minute shopping after vegging out around my parent's house and recovering from a vicious attack from my dog's tongues. The dogs both get jealous and as one gets excited the other wants part of the action... so I am not only all covered in white dog hair, but I am also covered by dog slobber. My "precious one", my cat, just sits there and is baffled by everything... but he is very loyal and follows me wherever I may go. I got several of my gifts but not everything, I have the luxury to buy gifts for my folks after Christmas for they do not return until midweek. Even though the stores were busy, the lines were not bad at all. It was a productive trip with the exception my "fear of rejection" got in the way... again.
When I went to Target and as I begun my hunt for the elusive perfect gift, I came across an attractive girl who I was intrigued by... she even got in line behind me. My dilemma, what do I say to her? I am a hopeless romantic. The line was quick and no words were exchanged, but glances met. I paid for my gifts and proceeded out... then I noticed my cart did not have one of my bags, so I went back. She was still there and all I could say was along the lines of: "I cannot forget about the presents." She smiles and laughs, but that was the end of it... I had my chance, but I never followed thru. There is a phrase a friend of mine shares, "Either a Chicken or a Hawk." I was a Chicken that time for sure. But what can I say? That's Gooberman for you.
Now that I have finally posted my first entry, I can breathe a sigh of relieve. It is done.
It is after midnight on Christmas day. I am sitting next to the fireplace with a fire burning out at my parent's abode, not a creature was stirring not even a mom or dad (or Santa)in the house...okay, you must count the two dogs and two cats. Surprisingly very content as I hold down the fort as I house/ critter-sit. My parents are out visiting my sis and her hubby in the Carribeans, where they work for the US State Department. I am alone here with the TV on, but I am remarkably upbeat. Normally, I expected to be a bit bummed out, especially since this is the first Christmas not celebrated with my immediate family. My parents asked if I wanted to go with them, but I chose not to because I already made my fun tour down there during the Thanksgiving holidays.
But my Christmas will not be without social affairs as I will be going to a Christmas dinner with my sister's inlaws. I am apprehensive about it, because I am not always the most social guy. I am sometimes at loss of words or have difficulty following conversations. My hearing does not cater to social functions, even with the new hi-tech hearing-aids. That is how it has been all my life... and most likely the rest of my life.
On Christmas eve, I did my normal last minute shopping after vegging out around my parent's house and recovering from a vicious attack from my dog's tongues. The dogs both get jealous and as one gets excited the other wants part of the action... so I am not only all covered in white dog hair, but I am also covered by dog slobber. My "precious one", my cat, just sits there and is baffled by everything... but he is very loyal and follows me wherever I may go. I got several of my gifts but not everything, I have the luxury to buy gifts for my folks after Christmas for they do not return until midweek. Even though the stores were busy, the lines were not bad at all. It was a productive trip with the exception my "fear of rejection" got in the way... again.
When I went to Target and as I begun my hunt for the elusive perfect gift, I came across an attractive girl who I was intrigued by... she even got in line behind me. My dilemma, what do I say to her? I am a hopeless romantic. The line was quick and no words were exchanged, but glances met. I paid for my gifts and proceeded out... then I noticed my cart did not have one of my bags, so I went back. She was still there and all I could say was along the lines of: "I cannot forget about the presents." She smiles and laughs, but that was the end of it... I had my chance, but I never followed thru. There is a phrase a friend of mine shares, "Either a Chicken or a Hawk." I was a Chicken that time for sure. But what can I say? That's Gooberman for you.
Now that I have finally posted my first entry, I can breathe a sigh of relieve. It is done.
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