Gooberman lives!

Today was a fun day at work... my office assistant and my coordinator and I were just goofing off all day. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time, I must admit I laughed so hard I cried. With some of the really "stretching it" word play jokes and the almost insane conversations, I admit was a goober. Goober sounds like some sort of candy... sweet on the outside, nuts on the inside. We ordered Chinese for lunch with my boss and her OA... I had some more sushi, 4th time in the past 3 weeks... the only problem with sushi, it comes cut in either 6 or 8, and that is not always enough to eat. In the world of supersized meals (which I know is a huge contributor to the expanding waistline in this country), why can't sushi be supersized as well? At least it would be better the greasy fast foods. But it was delicious to eat. I am still looking for some sweet tasting sushi similar to what I had when I was on the island. My parents had some and said it was planton not banana as I originally thought. If anyone knows of where to get some, it would be a terrible thing to keep it a secret.

After lunch got to filling out my mileage report. I have slacked off so much with that report... it is for me to get more compensation yet that was not an incentive enough for me to turn one in since August. I tend to put it low on my priority list since I consistently take care of others (my employers, employees and others) before I think of myself. Not always the best way of thinking, but that's me. I finished my November and December reports ($145) thinking I would just do away with the Sept and Oct... but then was reminded my boss that in Sept and Oct, there were a lot of meetings outside my area which could accumulate even more extra gas money. At 48.5 cents a mile and driving to meetings 20 miles away can really add up. It is not that I really need the money, but extra money can never hurt. I didn't finish the report, so that is on top of my list for Tuesday (Monday is another holiday! woo-hoo!)

I went to blockbuster to use up my free rental, got home, watched some tv, took a nap. Glad to be able to coast into the weekend on a high note with no need to wake up early in the morning.

Productive Day

First day back from the holidays... I was so very tired today. I just wanted to go home and take a nap. Stayed up too late last night as I watched the movie (which I was tired before the movie even started). I was tempted to use one of my vacation days for Friday. However, I worked 4 more hours today than I was planning, so I will work less tomorrow. One of the perks of having a flexible schedule.

I spent a lot of time preparing for today's meeting I called for with my employees. I was not looking forward to it; it had potential to be such a big mess. The purpose of the meeting was to re-iterate their duties to get them back on the right track because council and the schools have been sharing with me those concerns. There are about 20 people on my staff including a coordinator who I am training to take more responsibility, a lot of different ages (but mostly teens still in high school), so the crowd is diverse. I understand it is just a part-time job for them and it may not be something they do for very long-time. I understand that it is not an easy job for a young kid to be telling people 2 or 3 times their age to follow the rules, but I believe that if play the cards the right way as a supervisor, any job can be fun or at least a good experience for them. I want to be able to help them become productive members in the workforce (whether for me or anyone else). As corny as it all may sound, one of the roles as a supervisor (I believe) is to educate them. The same holds true for any type of meeting, training or presentation. I am not at that point right now with my staff loving their job, nor am I at that point where I am the most effective superviosr but I feel I have made some really boring presentation subjects a lot of fun in the course of my public speaking “career”.
I spent a lot of time today talking with my new, young coordinator. I shared my philosophies and what I have been taught about trainings as well as got a glimpse to where he was coming from. With him being new (started Oct 31) in a position designed to be a stepping stone for organization, it was positive conversation. He also shared with me what my staff has been saying about me behind my back.
Unfortunately, whay he said made me feel like the supervisor from “The Office” (okay, I admit it! I have related to "Micheal Scott" from the Office before my conversation). He said they think it is annoying that I just pop-up when they least expect it and that I would be too hands on with the job. But that’s okay, I need to be available and check in on my staff. I practice what I preach and will enforce the rules that I expect them to be paid for, if they don't know when I am going to be dropping by, then hopefully it would keep them on their toes. I cannot be effective if I am not around and being passive. If everyone was being pro-active and taking the initiative, then there be a need for this meeting.
The meeting went well, better than I anticipated. The staff was receptive and they shared ideas and participated. It felt like it accomplished the objective. There was no finger-pointing or blaming. There are things that I could have said better and other things that I would do differently next time, but I felt good about the meeting. I tend to talk like Bush sometimes, words come out in not-so-ordinary ways just to get the point across, (Bushism- I think it is called). I was relieved that it is over and I felt more satisfied with this meeting than some of those in the past.
Now I am looking forward to a quiet, calm Friday and then a weekend featuring a big party at a friend’s townhouse over looking the Inner Harbor in Baltimore City.

Vision Quest

Well, my folks are back in town and I am back to my apartment. I surprised them by cleaning their cars, vacuuming/ dusting part of their house, made them a dinner (first time I really cooked for them, complete with salad), make a fire in the fireplace, and watched Polar Express with them after we exchanged gifts. My main gift is on its way back from internet store… exchanging the leather jacket for another style I like more. I was pleasantly surprised to get a large vintage bullfighting poster… it was even personalized in Spanish as if I were the famous bullfighter. Even though I have never been to a bullfight nor been to Spain, it would fit well with my bedroom motif. Vintage Red Cross poster (I make it a habit to give blood), vintage Ringling Bros and Barnum Bailey Circus poster (Grew up going to the circus when it is in town), a University of Maryland poster and the diploma (the poster they gave to the graduates instead of the diplomas they mailed to the house), and the National Club Volleyball Tournament poster (I worked and helped out with the tournament when I was at UMCP.) My room pays tribute to a few things I have done and/or enjoy. My living room/ dining room had an African Motif. Complete with memories of my trip there. A Christmas gift added to the collection… a wall hanging made from a 50-gallon drum barrel. It is a very nicely crafted piece of art made in Haiti, but sold in Dominican Republic, where I recently vacationed. It works nicely with the décor and is very much appreciated.
After the evening festivities, my cat and I headed back to my apartment, I put away my laundry then watched the movie, “Vision Quest”… a story about a guy inspired to make his mark on the world by dropping several weight classes in wrestling to face an undefeated, feared state champion. Good movie, but not great. Worth seeing.
Time to go to sleep, got a busy first day back at work tomorrow.

Smothered in Puppies

Tonight is the last night before my parents come home. The last night for me to house/dog/cat sit.
The two dogs are a joy to be around and they have totally different personalities. The older dog is mellow, loyal and affectionate. The younger dog..umm.. she is very playful, goofy, lovable, (did I mention goofy?) and quite a character. Gotta love them both. The two of them get jealous of one another, so at times I would get all smothered in the affection. They would compete with one another for the prime location for a decent backrub... not realizing they may suffocate me in the process. Real bright of them, snuffing the one who would take them to paradise with a grand petting, just to outdo the other.
Meanwhile, my cat was in his hyper mood... he was jumping from one sofa to the next like he is spiderman. He would run around at full speed without a worry in the world. Being as agile as he is, he never crashes into anything, just glides from one area to the next. Gotta love him for his antics.
I bowled inconsistently tonight. We won 1 of 4 versus the 1st place team. Our opponents had a former Baltimore Oriole on their team. Paul Blair, who played from 1964-1980 in the outfield. He is a nice guy, very upbeat and happy. Not a bad bowler, either. We actually matched series-wise at 590. The first game I was sticking on the approach and got a measly 167. The second game went extremely well on the right lane when I got all strikes, but the left lane was trouble for me... ended up with 210. Third game went well, ended up with a 213. My average should be at 197.
After bowling, I went to the store picked up a few things for tomorrow... planning on making a dinner for my parents, my own recipe: Teriyaki pineapple Chicken over brown rice and Spinach Salad with Goat Cheese and Huckleberry dressing. I also got Sushi for dinner tonight... it was not as fresh as I would prefer.

uhh... Hello, my name is gooberman, and I am a bloggeroholic

I guess am enjoying the blogs more than I thought I would... or maybe I just have the time on my hands to think and reflect.
When I was out earlier, shopping for more gifts for my parents. There were some good sales the day after Christmas. My thoughts were flowing as I was driving about. I was thinking about why I chose "un-understandable mind"... what is my case to defend my logic. Here are a few things:

• I have a fear of rejection, yet I do not have a lot to show for being rejected... most of the time I am the rejector in a relationship not the one who is dumped or denied a date.
• Public speaking in front of large crowds is something I do well at, yet speaking in smaller groups can be tricky for me. [Gave successful presentations at national conferences and in front of important people.]
• People think I am a neat, attractive, wonderful guy, yet I have very few close friends.
• I am a very hard worker, I take initiative and I am very gung-ho when working, yet when I get home I tend to be a "bump on the log" and the world's greatest procastinator.
• I am very hard on myself and have high expectations for myself, yet I am very laid back and easy going with others.
• I love movies, music and auditory-oriented entertainment (comedy clubs, musicals/plays, etc.), yet most of the time I don't understand what is being said... unless it is it captioned.
• I know how to cook, yet I mostly get something I can pop into the microwave if I eat out...mainly to get fast food.
• I work a full-time salaried job that is 35 hours a week, yet I am too busy for much else. [35 hours is spread out throughout the day/ night and week]
• I am left handed with most fine motor skills (writing, eating, combing hair, etc), yet I use the mouse right handed, I throw, bowl, and other gross motor skill with my right hand.
• I was elected secretary of a search and rescue group when in college, yet I have a difficult time hearing well enough to take decent notes.
• I don't like tomatoes too much (but will still eat them), yet I really like tomato sauce, ketchup and other tomato based things.
• I like college basketball (especially University of Maryland) but I don't like the NBA.
• I have never understood the fascination people have with NASCAR, yet is is enjoyed by millions of people (and I like to drive fast myself).
• I can be clever and funny sometimes but other times (like now) I can't think of diddly-squat!

Well, I got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow. My goal is to clean my parent's house and their cars to surprise them when they return on Wednesday. I also need to wrap their gifts. Since it is Tuesday, it is my Bowling night... last week was a good week for my team, we won all three and finally came together as a team... having fun at the same time. Off hand I cannot remember my exact scores, but I think they were 215, 195, 224, it is well enough to raise my average from 196 to ??? Time to sign off to get my sleep.

Inspiring Fellow Bloggers

The past week I have a become addicted to blogs... not yet addicted to posting them, but reading them... been inspired about "eavesdropping" into another's life. I have always enjoyed watching people live their lives. Sitting on a bench as people pass. Seeing people's emotions on their faces and their body language telling me stories. Enjoying the therapeutic effect of knowing, "I am not alone". I am not the only one who has hiccups to overcome. There are three in particular that I have been spending hours reading... all three are interesting to read. All three have different contributions. All three are to be blamed when I become even more engrossed with reading other's blogs.
My "first" (sounds kinky, eh?) was "The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey." It hit the right note for me, talking about disabilities as an obstacle, not as a deal-breaker. Unlike Douglas, I do not have a "tic" nor do I have ADHD... but an hearing impairment.

My second was notable-m... an interesting individual who shared her day-to-day activities and thoughts. She showed me a glimpse in her life, not too far off from my own, in terms of habits and general life.

The third, Epiphany in Baltimore... a good hearted individual who has a compassion about life and optimism and faith in humanity, despite the minor challenges he has (living on a teachers salary and finding the time to really spread his wings in the social/romantic arenas of life).

Today, I particularly enjoyed Epiphany's "Faith Rocked". Despite the time he wrote it (the day after the unfortunate bombings in London, he continues to believe, "I believe that people are born good, and that it's the world that makes them bad." He goes on about how he has been a positive influence as teaches his students who are facing the grim reality of inner-city life. I responded to him with these comments and my personal experiences:

Remarkable and inspiring post... you are a good man, charlie brown, to belief. You are absolutely right about people turning a blind eye when they see the unfortunate in the third world countries. One of my most precious experiences in life was my visit to one of the poorest countries in the world, The Republic of Niger. I spent two weeks there and it simply restored my faith in humanity. Even though the village of Maraka had very little, their hearts were filled with gold. They were the village that raised a child together and with pride. They had no sense of national identity, just of their village.
One time they offered my family and I several cooked chickens (so small and so skinny) just as a token of friendship. Unfortunately, it is not something we could eat and cannot insult them by giving it back, especially if it was my sister's Peace Corp village.
For a village to give so much when they have so little, is an inspiration and is enough to restore your faith, even when there are people out there with a different line of thinking.
Thanks for the posting and being a genuine human being with great intentions... if only others would follow your example and good faith!

In my life, I have also worked for the Boys and Girls Club, a remarkable experience. It fed my need to want to help make a positive impact on this world, but unfortunately (as I have been told), I need to shine a light on my own path before I can carry the torch to show others the way. Left that job to take one for an offer I could not refuse. With more money to meet ends and the chance to start something anew in a new place, I had to take the chance to discover myself with new experiences. I don't regret my decision for I am at a good place with people who are fun to work with. But my experiences with the club will never be forgotten. The Boys and Girls Club of American has my admiration, even though they have their politics which every organization has.
I have always been a sucker for the feel good/ inspirational movies... movies where people change for the positive and people become a success story. Some movies I love: Coach Carter, Good Will Hunting, With Honors, Patch Adams, Dangerous Minds, Rudy, Lean on Me, etc. Even though they are just movies, I hope someday to become someone worthy of inspiration.
When working at the Boys and Girls Club, (which is under The Salvation Army in the Baltimore Region) work was stressful... both The Salvation Army and the Boys and Girls Club have two different missions so it seems there was a little conflict of interest at times, but both with very honorable and worthy intentions. I never could understood why the two powerhouse charities came together in the Baltimore Region. I think both would be more successful independent, fulfilling each of their missions to the greatest.
Unfortunately, there was so little help at the Club it made it hard make the greatest impact. Luckily, my supervisor there was very passionate about the cause and genuinely cared about the people who walked through those doors. She came across as a difficult person, but she truly cared and devote an enormous amount of time and energy to effort. Despite her efforts, she was at the same disadvantage, too little help with so many walking through the door. The ages varied so much you could not do effective programming and giving the attention to the boy and girls they deserved. Most of the youth there come to play basketball rather than anything else. We would have power hour (a hour of working on homework, prior to any other activities) and their mind would do nothing but wander. But how can you blame them, they were at school all day and the last thing they would want to do is look at more books with nobody to help them learn what they don't understand.
There was a time I discovered a young boy who could not read... he was getting by with the hints of others. I remember working with him to read a book... asking him to sound out the word, I would start a sound and he would think of the first word that comes to mind that has that sound. Smart, clever kid, but it would not help read the book for himself. He got easily frustrated as he lived in a tough neighborhood. Talked to his mother about his reading ability, and she was shocked, but was very supportive, although she has so little time to meet ends and give the attention he deserves. That is the story for most of the children in the club... little positive parental influence. Don't get me wrong, there have been some great parents there, but oftentimes, they are single parents who work hard to provide for their children and self. My heart goes out to them for that. But the children have less of a chance to get ahead without their positive support. If you want to make a difference, volunteer your time... keep an open mind, knowing those you work with are not walking in the shoes you wore but shoes too big or too small for your feet. Keep in mind the people you world with have different teachings growing up, some you may not agree with, some you would wish you have had. Some of those teachings may be different and unorthodox, but that does not mean they are bad. Keep an open mind and let the experience help you grow, just as you make a difference for them. A lot of times people are taught a way of thinking because they have to or because they have not been taught but learned by themselves, not knowing one way or another. It is something to consider the next time you come across another who doesn't share your perspective. Hearing people out and trying to figure out why someone does something is intriguing to me, it also helps make the best of a situation. So my take home message: Keep an open mind and open heart.

Christmas Past, onto the Future

Christmas day is nearly over... I just got back from a dinner at my sister's in-laws house. Despite my sis and her hubby being out of town, I went there to have a nice dinner... I was beginning to regret going at first, I was not in too much of a talkative mood that evening. I guess it was a combination of being tired (my dogs had an overwhelming desire to walk all over me in the morning to wake me up. I guess they needed to go out [or maybe it was their ruse to get fed earlier]) and/or not knowing what to say. But the as the evening went on, I began to open up a bit more... but still not where I would want to be. If I gave myself a score on how social I was I would put me at 55 out of 100. I anticipated I would be a bit more quiet than I would wish to be... just trying to figure out how I can get myself where I want to be... here is my thoughts.
The in-laws (even though they are not technically my in-laws) are very successful and highly respected people. They have political connections, they live in an amazing house and are well-liked. They are also fun and interesting people who do not come across as intimidating. The dad-in-law, is fun to listen to and has so many stories to share. Very giving people as well... they would always think of me when they don't use their season tickets to the Maryland Sporting events... they took me and my family to the Football Silent Auction and Gala a couple years ago, they donated generously to a fundraiser I was working on for the YMCA and the list goes on. Due to all of this, maybe I feel that I respect them so much that I am afraid to make a fool of myself and tend to tense up as opposed to loosen up to be comfortable. After all, you cannot make foolish comments if you are not saying anything. I guess that is part of my fear of rejection, I think too much (I know it is a terrible thing to do, but it is "easier said than done" to stop thinking too much); let alone joke around.
I very much like to make people laugh and to make good impression on people with meaningful insights, conversations and ideas. It makes me feel important (even though others may think I am important to them nevertheless). Saying that, if I can turn my over-thinking off and not worry about looking like the goober I am, I think I would be better off. But how do I do that?? My attempt to understand my on-understandable mind, is this: I was brought up caring about my image (just as I should care for others), brought up being well-mannered and doing the right things, not doing stupid things. My image is important to me... I want to be known as an intelligent, attractive, caring individual who makes a difference in other people's lives. My great obstacle, I have this notion that others see me as a "charity case" hearing impaired individual who cannot do things on my own. Because of this notion, I need to dispel any stereotypes people may have of a hearing impaired individual... remove that stigma that I cannot do things for myself and cannot be successful as someone who does not have the same limitations. Hence my urge to be a well-rounded person to try new things and be knowledgeable in so many bands of the spectrum. I know I worry too much. I know that my logic of thinking is not the best when it comes to my own self-image (hard on myself, but not on others). But how do I do it?

I can go on and on... I have a lot of different avenues to venture down, but I need to learn to take things one day at a time and make the most of everything. Hopefully, my blog will help me get an insight to understanding my mind. And to be at better peace with myself. But that would be another time...

Ravens have beat the Vikings... they are looking good now. Too bad it is too late to make it into the playoffs. If only they got their act together earlier in the season. At least the Redskins, have that options... I must admit, I am loyal to both the skins and the Ravens... what can I say, I tend to be a home town sports fan.

The Rookie Blogger

This is my inaugural blog... the pressure to make it a masterpiece.

It is after midnight on Christmas day. I am sitting next to the fireplace with a fire burning out at my parent's abode, not a creature was stirring not even a mom or dad (or Santa)in the house...okay, you must count the two dogs and two cats. Surprisingly very content as I hold down the fort as I house/ critter-sit. My parents are out visiting my sis and her hubby in the Carribeans, where they work for the US State Department. I am alone here with the TV on, but I am remarkably upbeat. Normally, I expected to be a bit bummed out, especially since this is the first Christmas not celebrated with my immediate family. My parents asked if I wanted to go with them, but I chose not to because I already made my fun tour down there during the Thanksgiving holidays.

But my Christmas will not be without social affairs as I will be going to a Christmas dinner with my sister's inlaws. I am apprehensive about it, because I am not always the most social guy. I am sometimes at loss of words or have difficulty following conversations. My hearing does not cater to social functions, even with the new hi-tech hearing-aids. That is how it has been all my life... and most likely the rest of my life.

On Christmas eve, I did my normal last minute shopping after vegging out around my parent's house and recovering from a vicious attack from my dog's tongues. The dogs both get jealous and as one gets excited the other wants part of the action... so I am not only all covered in white dog hair, but I am also covered by dog slobber. My "precious one", my cat, just sits there and is baffled by everything... but he is very loyal and follows me wherever I may go. I got several of my gifts but not everything, I have the luxury to buy gifts for my folks after Christmas for they do not return until midweek. Even though the stores were busy, the lines were not bad at all. It was a productive trip with the exception my "fear of rejection" got in the way... again.
When I went to Target and as I begun my hunt for the elusive perfect gift, I came across an attractive girl who I was intrigued by... she even got in line behind me. My dilemma, what do I say to her? I am a hopeless romantic. The line was quick and no words were exchanged, but glances met. I paid for my gifts and proceeded out... then I noticed my cart did not have one of my bags, so I went back. She was still there and all I could say was along the lines of: "I cannot forget about the presents." She smiles and laughs, but that was the end of it... I had my chance, but I never followed thru. There is a phrase a friend of mine shares, "Either a Chicken or a Hawk." I was a Chicken that time for sure. But what can I say? That's Gooberman for you.
Now that I have finally posted my first entry, I can breathe a sigh of relieve. It is done.