Monday, February 09, 2009

Manic Monday

i sit here waiting my turn at the car wash. my car needs a good cleaning, hose down all the salt and other crud on the sides. i sit here thinking about my last post. the successes and the unchanged. i do the dangerous thing, think and over think. maybe i am just tired and cranky... maybe i just need to just get away from work, finances, social engagements, and other things. maybe i am just getting jaded and frustrated. maybe i just need take a couple days off to take care of some items on my to do list i have been neglecting.
on my list:
-schedule appointment with doctor: long overdue
-clean house: long overdue, but not as pressing if i dont have visitors to show off my place
-take down christmas decorations: ehh, it has been up longer before
-organize a game night: something want to do but want to take of above items before this
-do taxes: normally a last minute filer, but may want to do them now to get refund... which i should be getting.
-look into refinancing my house and maybe even my car: could do better financially
-look into getting a part-time job: extra income is always good, keep me busy and wrapped up in something else, puts me out there to meet new people.
-get myself in a regular exercise routine again.

carwash is almost done. time to head home and get some dinner.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Since then...





Since my last regular blogs:

THE NEW:
-Went Skydiving: had a blast!
-Bought a Townhouse: Great to be a home owner, but expensive.
-Picked up gardening: Created several flowerbeds and a made a rock garden featuring a 110 pound lava Rock: A lot of hard work, but well worth it.
-Lost a group of friends: Its probably for the best.
-Gained even better group of friends: It is the Best!
-Did 3 polar bear plunges: Raised over $1000 for a great cause and had a lot of fun in the process.
-Played a season of Dodgeball, Kickball and 3 seasons of Bowling: Not done with leagues yet!
-Went innertubing down a river in Harpers Ferry: So relaxing, such a great day it was!
-Took an amazing trip to Denmark (and a day in Sweden) for close to 2 weeks: Saw and experienced a country I MUST visit again.
-Did Karaoke the second and third time in my life: the second time went well and well-received, the third time was umm... not as much. But still fun times.
-Made some good strides at work for the community: Getting jaded, but still moving forward.
-Became a certified Basic First Aid/ Child, Adult, Infant Instructor: Wanted to become one for a long time, now I have and certified over a hundred thus far.
-Went to my first vineyards: Developing a better taste for wine now.
-Went to my first drive-in movie: A triple feature... can't wait to go again!
-Became more active socially: More regular with different people.

THE SAME:
-Despite the successes and new experiences, my mood, my confidence and my feelings have not changed much (made a lot of great steps, but still ways to go): baby steps still.
>I am still incredibly reserved, yet I have opened up a lot, thanks to facebook and better key people in friends.
>I feel conflicted internally with different people, worried about mixing different groups of people and have difficulties coordinating social functions.
>Fearing what people think and worrying about people getting sick of me, still dreadfully haunts me.
>Day-by-day is still unpredictable, in terms of moods. One day I am more confident, open and outgoing, other days I am struggling to get words out to add meaning to a conversation. Some days I feel like I am on top of the world for no reason, other days I just want to be a bump on the log.
>Relationshipwise- There are some great people in my life, some with some interesting "potential", but right now, I am feeling better off single and alone. Not that it is a bad thing. At times I just don't know what I really want.

Steps in the right direction and on the right path, just ways to go.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Back in the writers seat

After a long while without a post, I am back. Figured, why not. Why did I stop anyways. First step it to review my old archives and see how much is different... then and now. More to come. Need to wake up early for the Boys LAX clinic at Towson University. Each year a few hundred boys attend this event. I will be helping the sponsors set-up and get things started. I prefer this behind-the-scenes role where I am busy and focused on the tasks needed to be done. Tomorrow is another day, lets see how much I stick with this blog this time around.