The blues

Before reading this, arm yourself with some cheese... there is going to be a lot of whining.
Today was the day for singing the blues... I am not talking about the La-la-lala-la-la Smurfs tune. I am talking the sad, woke up on the wrong side of the bed blues. I simply wasn't feeling to happy today.. I was lonely and bored. Took naps on the couch with my cat on my chest (he tends to do that every now and then, so I enjoy it when I can). It is like a heating pad and vibrator rolled in in. Okay, that sounded very bad; But when he purrs it can be very soothing and comforting. I wish I had a girlfriend to take that soothing comforting role. It dawn upon me that even though I have a lot to offer someone else, I am not always a conversationalist would want out of a guy. I just don't understand. Maybe I am just thinking too much... if I could stop thinking too much and worry that the wrong thing will be coming out of my mouth, everything would alright. It is kinda like the three stooges... all three try to get through the door at the same time and their attempt to cross the treshold ends up miserably. On the right day with the right people, I can be outgoing guy who the spotlight can shine on. But other times it is like I am a bump on the log.. no, a bump a bump on the log would only hope to be to be considered a worthy bump.
It also occured to me that I live in a small town where almost everyone knows everyone else... everyone went to the same high school... but not me. It is not the town I grew up in. Even though people are relatively friendly, I feel like I am intruding on the town, especially since I am in a job with a lot of involvement with the community. I was asked to attend a meeting on Thursday... if things work out, then I might be in a bigger role dealing with the town's youth. Not a bad thing, especially since I prefer to be on the "front-lines" as opposed to behind the desk... how is that for an un0understandable mind? I like the front-lines, and do well (especially if I am guiding the way) but I am not a conversationalist.
When I was working for the gym... I loved to give the fitness orientations. I was on the front lines talking to people. People wanted me to personal train them because I worked well with them and I take a different approach, a more humorous yet realistic approach, but even though I am a certified personal trainer, it does not appeal to me. I don't want to have to wonder when my next client would be... I don't want to have to rely on commission, I want a steady paycheck, which I have. Besides, I prefer to give people tips for free. But that is beside the point for today.
I went to Hops today... I wanted to get out of the apt and I had a craving for seafood. It was a good meal and beer as I watched the bengals-steelers football game. I was hoping the bengals would continue their remarkable season. Oh well, the Redskins are still in... I have faith in Joe Gibbs. When I was at Hops, I don't small talk with the people next to me or the bartender... but I am cordial and say hello and smile to people, but that is as far as it goes. Not exactly intentional... I would love to get to know more people. Even if I did meet someone, would I even have the nerve to get their number? I just wish things were more simpler.
Well, I am a hopeless romantic, so what do I do? I pop in my favorite DVD, Love Actually. Each of the mini-stories within the movie are great. Makes me laugh each time I see it. Gotta watch the movie now.